“Why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?” – 1 Corinthians 6:7
I remember learning this lesson from my dad when I was just a young teenager. My mom had asked us to bring down a specific table from the second floor of the school and put the big screen TV on it so she could show a video during the high school graduation. The table she wanted us to get was the heaviest table in the entire school. It was a solid two-inch thick six-foot long table that had six-inch steel posts for legs. We had to carry it down a flight of stairs with a tight 180 degree turn at the landing. It was a challenging task to say the least, but we managed to get it done, and I learned a valuable lesson in the process.
As we were going up the stairs to get the table, my dad pointed out that there were several lighter tables on the first floor that would have worked just fine for holding the TV, but he said that we were going to move the heavier and more difficult table just because that was the one that my mom wanted. Then he said, “You’re mom always gets her way.” I’ve never forgotten that moment. That was the moment that I realized why my parents never argued or fought like so many of my friends’ parents did. My parents didn’t fight because my dad was committed to doing whatever my mom wanted. It didn’t matter if getting the table she wanted made my dad work more than he needed to. His sole focus was on getting my mom whatever she wanted, and I try to live that way in my marriage too.
In I Corinthians 6:7, Paul asked the members of the church why they were suing each other in court instead of just allowing their fellow believers to get away with fraud. His point was that the testimony of the church and thus the testimony of Christ should have been more important than the wealth and prosperity of the individual members. He suggested that the members should settle their disputes within the church and avoid taking those disputes to a secular court even if that meant suffering loss. The testimony of Christ was more important.
We can apply this same thought process to our marriage by asking whether it is more important to win the argument or to exemplify Christ. Remember, Christ was willing to give up everything and even die over a false accusation all for the benefit of His bride. Shouldn’t we as husbands be willing to lose an argument to keep our wives happy? And if we’re willing to lose the argument, why would we bother with fighting when we can just do what our wives want from the beginning? Instead of making a scene to impress the neighbors with how loudly we can scream at each other, we should focus on reflecting the attitude of Christ even if it means letting the wife have her way so we can avoid an argument.
By the way, the principle of sowing and reaping works in the marriage relationship just like it does in everything else. If you let your wife have her way as much as you can, it won’t be long before she starts looking for ways to get you what you want too. She’ll probably even figure out that, if you’re focused solely on getting her what she wants, then the best way for her to get you what you want would be for her to actually want the same thing that you want. In other words, the more you let your wife have her way, the more both of your ways will merge into one single path of wedded bliss.